It’s hard to believe that I’ve been blogging for two years. Though I haven’t met any of my blogging goals or become the blogger I thought I should to be, I’m thrilled. Typically, I wouldn’t read the previous sentence and feel joy or pride but as I head into my third year of blogging I’m proud to be a finisher. Well, I’m not finished blogging, but certainly I have not failed because I have not quit!
The past two years my personal life has been full of physical and mental challenges that sometimes made the simplest chores–like brushing my teeth–near impossible. I’m so so proud and happy that even amidst my trials I’ve managed to maintain a few things–including this blog. A win is a win no matter how small.
The two most important lessons I’ve learned in the past two years of blogging are; let go of perfection and be honest about who I am.
I’ve held so tightly to the idea that in order to have content worth publishing it needed to be perfect and because of that I’ve missed so many opportunities to post and create. This year I pushed myself to hit the publish button on content that was not perfect and ended up publishing twice as much as my first year.
Unexpectedly, writing this blog has pushed me to confront myself in new ways. In the beginning I tried to write about a lot of different subjects and topics some me and others not me. At first, I thought I was just uncomfortable writing something different but after a while what started out as fun morphed into misery. It took me a while to understand why I was so miserable too. The topics I was writing about were things–such as makeup and skincare–that in my everyday life I enjoy researching and learning more about. I get a lot of questions about them from friends and family and so I thought I would naturally enjoy writing about them. I fought the idea they were what was causing me so much grief for many many months. When I finally put my foot down and said no to that content, my blogging experience became something I enjoyed again.
As simple and trivial as that revelation might seem, it was not. It started a cascade, an avalanche, of questions about my whole life. Now please, don’t see this as me making this some trivial, privileged affair. This played into circumstances and factors I was already dealing with in my daily life. I starting asking myself serious questions about certain relationships, particular social situations, and energy I was devoting to certain outlets. I began saying no to those things and my mental health started to improve in big ways. I began to see for the first time myself–and that’s a deep knowledge.
If blogging has given my anything it’s a sense of self and an openness to be myself–imperfections and all. Here’s to another great year of blogging! I’m excited to see what this year holds and the lessons I will learn.